Your relationship with your child's school district will likely span years, so building it thoughtfully from the start matters. Here's how to approach communication in a way that serves your child well over the long term.
Start From a Collaborative Stance
Most school staff genuinely want your child to succeed — even when specific decisions or resources feel frustrating. Approaching communication as a partnership, at least as a starting point, tends to build a more productive long-term relationship than approaching every interaction as an adversarial one, even though you should absolutely advocate firmly when needed.
Put Important Requests and Concerns in Writing
Verbal conversations are valuable for relationship-building, but important requests — asking for an evaluation, raising a specific concern, requesting a meeting — should generally be documented in writing (email is usually sufficient) even if you also discuss them verbally. This creates a clear record and often triggers specific procedural timelines the district must follow.
Keep Your Own Records
Maintain your own file of evaluations, IEPs, correspondence, and meeting notes. You shouldn't have to rely on the school's records alone, and having your own organized documentation makes it much easier to track progress, notice patterns, and advocate effectively over time.
Ask Questions Rather Than Assuming
If something in an IEP, a proposed service, or a school decision doesn't make sense to you, ask directly rather than assuming either that the school knows best or that they're wrong. Understanding the reasoning behind a decision helps you respond more effectively, whether you ultimately agree or want to push back.
Build Relationships With Key Staff
Getting to know your child's teacher, case manager, and other key staff as people — not just roles — can meaningfully improve communication and responsiveness over time. A quick, friendly check-in email occasionally (not just when there's a problem) can help build goodwill that serves your child well.
Know Your Formal Rights
Alongside relationship-building, it's important to know your formal procedural rights under IDEA — timelines districts must follow, your right to request evaluations, and your options if you disagree with a decision. See Understanding Your Child's Rights Under IDEA for more detail.
When Disagreements Happen
Even in a generally good relationship, disagreements happen. Michigan's special education system includes formal dispute resolution options — including mediation and due process — if informal discussion doesn't resolve a disagreement. Michigan Alliance for Families can help you understand these options if you reach that point.
Bringing Support to Meetings
You're allowed to bring an advocate, family member, or support person to any IEP meeting. If you're feeling overwhelmed navigating the system alone, this is a reasonable and common step, not an escalation.
Coordinating With Outside Providers
If your child receives ABA therapy or other outside services, sharing relevant information with the school (with appropriate consent) can help create a more complete picture for the team — and vice versa, having your BCBA aware of school goals helps keep everything aligned.
For Midland-Area Families
Our BCBA, Kimberly Blazer, is glad to coordinate directly with your Midland-area child's school team, with your consent, to support this kind of alignment. Our School Readiness Support service is designed around exactly this kind of goal. our in-home ABA therapy in Midland page has more information, or Get Started Today to get started.
This article is part of our complete guide, Preparing Your Autistic Child for Kindergarten. Clinically reviewed by Kimberly Blazer, BCBA.